It’s 10 after seven on a Saturday night and I’m the laundry room, stretching waste bands and legs on last summer’s white capris – four pairs made of different kinds of white fabric – hoping I’ll fit into them again this year. At this point, that’s my weight goal year after year. It’s not about losing 10, it’s about not buying a larger size. So far so good. And this is after eight years of M and M: Menopause and Mexican food.
So I’m stretching and pushing fabric when I find myself smiling. What’s up?
How silly is this? Stretching the waste bands of capris, and wondering what people would think if they knew I did this. Robin would laugh. For all I know she does it too, but we have more important things to talk about like whether or not tan biceps make up for the fact that the underside flaps like a sheet on the line.
“I figure if they don’t glow the flab won’t be as noticeable.” We laugh. We laugh about a lot of things, Robin and I. And we also share really tough stuff too. But today we mostly had a really nice chat. I miss her. We see each other about once a year, if I’m lucky enough to see her and Peter at all. But in the meantime, we talk and keep each other current on family happenings, our own trials and triumphs, offer advice, listen. “I needed this,” she said today. And I’m glad I can be that kind of friend – the way she has been for me these many years.
So, I’m stretching my capris and smiling because I’m happy. Well, maybe I’m smiling while I’ve got my fists twisted in opposite directions in the thigh section of on a pair of size 0.5 light khaki capris (0.5 – has to be Chico’s, right?) because I remember wearing these in France two years ago.
Our choir had the opportunity to travel to Savigne l’Evec, France, to sing with Le Chorale de Savigne L’Evec. I remembered those capris with a brown t-shirt and cotton sweater the day we toured Chateau de Chenonceau. Maybe I’m smiling because I had a quick flash about that trip. Great trip.
This flashback happened in the course of two seconds and it made me smile. I think it’s a nice place to be. Home with my dog on a Saturday night, after a pretty full day. We enjoyed the dog park, the downtown Las Cruces Farmers and Crafts market for a cup of Beck’s “Magic Moon” blend coffee, Pure Shea Butter from New Mexico Soaps and “One, No Nonsense Bran Muffin” from Living Harvest Bakery.
Perhaps the highlight of the day was being able to attend a memorial service for a fellow choir member, Jim, who died unexpectedly, suddenly last Friday. I think it’s a good idea to be reminded from time to time, without getting morbid – if possible, about the shortness of life so we can appreciate our own smiles or those of people we love or so we can remember to smile at the old lady in the grocery store who looks as crabby as all get out until another’s smile makes her face light up like an angel who just got her wings.
Even now as I type this, the setting sun in shining through the Desert Willow outside my window. My buddy, Aw’gy is sleeping under my desk, Garrison Keillor is on the radio and I’m going to finish this to work on a painting.
You would smile, too, if it happened to you. Ba-ba-bap-ba-bap.
(“Capris de Chenonceau” was taken in June 2009 by my friend Tom.)