I’m grieving. And it’s about damn time.
Last May 4, I was readying house and hound for a 1,600-mile drive to visit family in Indiana. I’d made that trip before but last May my house was on the market and I was planning to leave Las Cruces. Now I realize I can’t leave. SoNewMex is a part of me. Thinking about it now makes me cry such that my dog comes over and leans on me. (Awww.)
I miss friends in my kitchen, First Friday Art Rambles, the Organ Mountains – alive with natural wonders, sand in my house, rocks in my yard, the pond, the cactus, goldfinches against a glorious blue sky, the view of the western sky from my kitchen window. The moon rising over the house across the street.
I miss long walks in the desert. When it got too hot, my dog flopped under a creosote bush to cool his belly on the sand. We’d walk to the desert near Memorial Park where Aw’gy would tear through the mesquite chasing jackrabbits. Or through the new Desert Trails Park, past the sign that warned us of snakes.
A short drive would take us to the mountain paths along the Organ foothills, or to Amy and Mark’s, Kris and Jim’s, Donna and Harry’s, Linda and Greg’s, to Sue’s house or Kathy’s or Sam and Nancy’s. I miss you guys. I miss choir practice and get tears in my eyes as I think of the beautiful music we made together – John, Meredith, Judy, Alanna, Doctor John, Tom. Thanks for the harmonies.
We enjoyed fiestas celebrating everything from the world’s largest enchilada to dead relatives. (Happy Cinco de Mayo!) Street fairs, art fairs, lit fairs. And how I loved the artists … meeting them, interviewing them, painting with Linda. Wonderful people. Maybe it was the weather. I doubt it.
Last week my sister commented about the sacrifice I made by moving home. No sacrifice. This is where I am meant to be and I am growing happier by the day in Valpo-ana. It’s just good to grieve. It tells me how much I loved New Mexico. I cried too when I pulled up 50-year-old roots to move to Las Cruces. Who knew it would be such a great place? I’ll be back.
Can’t grieve for long, tho’ – not with a gajillion nieces and nephews around. I’m grateful to be back in Hoosierland and to have these wonderful people in my life. Who knew I’d be back?