This is about recognizing your emotions and knowing what to do with them.
Aw'gy lapping up Lake Michigan, Thursday 8.30.12
Yesterday, I took Aw’gy on a long-overdue walk up the lakeshore. It was a gorgeous morning, about 7:30. The air was warming, the sky was blue and the lake was placid. Lovely. On occasion, I talk to the lake but this time I recorded my monologue. I was choking up. (LakeTears)
“This lake fills my soul,” I said. “I can feel the water seeping into every part of my spirit, my being. Pushes up into my throat, into my eyes and out as tears.”
It’s not the first time Lake Michigan brought tears to my eyes. I can picture the scene as though it were yesterday.
It was late spring 2000 and I was moving down the Chicago lakefront from Fullerton to North Avenue as I did on foot, rollerblades, bicycle for many years.
(Holy cow. I am definitely in a wet place right now as the emotions are welling up again. I’ll have to check the calendar to find out if there is some loss anniversary. Oh, right. I was getting divorced, my mother had a stroke on my birthday and died over Labor Day weekend. Think THAT could be it?!! The divorce was final three weeks after she passed. Yeah, maybe, that’s part of it.)
Anyway, THAT day, the lake made me step off the cement and cross the sand. I stood there looking at the water.
“What? What do you want?”
My wayback machine took me to fun times with my brother and other kids in the late ’50s and ’60s – diving into the waves, running from the waves, splashing. Those summers, we were at Whiting Beach everyday.
Then I talked to the lake.
“Look at you. You never change. You’re the same, awesome lake you’ve been all these years. Long before me.”
Then the lake whispered something to my soggy brain.
“You haven’t changed. You’re still the same singing dancing girl you’ve always been.”
In dreams, I’m told, water signifies emotion. I guess that makes me emotional because over the years I’ve had dreams about flooded basements and bathrooms and tsunamis. There were many, many tsunamis.
I didn’t know how much I needed that lake visit. “Tears of joy – wash you clean,” Tuck and Patti sing. “Why don’t you let – them – set – you – free.”
This is important because it’s good to plug into wet emotions or dry ones if that’s how they come to you. I have been troubled all week but didn’t know why. What I did know is not to attack others, as in “YOU did this or that and that’s why I’m upset.”
Nope, this is another tsunami.
My hope for you is that you are in touch with your emotions. That you can honor them, use them to grow, “to water your garden.” Feeling my tears reminded me I put my balance on hold – threw the mind-body-spirit thing out the window with the bathwater.
I’m wishing you a wet Labor Day because I wish you time to honor your emotions. Listen to your lake. What is it telling you?